I often find myself thinking : ‘if only someone had invented this or that‘. Not major breakthroughs like the cure for cancer or a vaccination that eradicates stupidity. Those things, of course, I hope for. But, on a daily basis, I’m more frivolous. I just wish for inventions that facilitate mundane tasks.
These are the top 10 inventions I am desperately waiting for:
1. A voice-activated phone (that actually works!)
I know, I know, we have Siri and all its cousins. But as long as Siri keeps replying to my request to play “Andre’s Songs” by “there are no ‘Undress songs’ on your mobile” I’m not ready to trust it (her?) with my life. I want a phone that acts like a personal assistant and understands what I want without coming back with ten question for every command. You see why I pooh-poohed Siri now?
2. The Teleporter
Not very original perhaps, but practical. As a Trekky, I firmly believe that teleporting will one day be a possibility. I have come to despise airports and their laborious (and mostly useless) checks; not to mention the ever-shrinking leg-space and the occasional airpocket. I simply want to step onto a pad and walk out at Melbourne’s Botanic Gardens or the Pyramids at Giza. Seems like I have to wait quite bit though. My body has around 8,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms and so far scientists have managed to transport only a single sub-atomic particle!
3. The Food Synthesizer
Start Trek again. This one is probably on everybody’s list: a triple chocolate cookie created in front of your eyes, with all the taste minus the bad fats and sugars. No more deprivation and no more belly-fat! And with some luck, I will still be around when this becomes reality. NASA is working on 3D-printed food. Although I am not yet too keen on insect proteins being used as the ‘building block’! Perhaps I will try Nestle’s version first.
4. Mind-to-PC text reader
Most of my writing ideas come to me at night, which means I either have to cling to them until morning or wake up and jot them down. Wouldn’t it be great if, instead, my computer could just transfer them to text the moment I think about them? Ha! Not even the Start Trek people thought of that one! Scientists, however, are apparently already working on something of the sort. So I’ll be on the look out!
5. The USB-to-brain port
We hardly need science to confirm that the older we grow the slower we process information. My kids, code-switching seamlessly between several languages, are a daily reminder. Meanwhile, their father has been struggling with conjugating ‘gelingen‘ properly for nigh over two years! So yes please, I need an interface to upload data directly into my brain! You might think that this is too fantastical, but a neuroscientist recently told me that there are experiments in this direction.
6. The ultimate all-in-one gadget
Sometimes I wonder whether technology has really lightened us up. On a good day I have to transport my mobile phone, the iPad and my laptop, with different chargers for each. Then there is the question of compatibility and transfer of data amongst devices and the fact that certain apps are available on some of them but not the others… please please please give me just one gadget! One on which I can do all the things I need and which is easy and light to carry. (perhaps bendable?). Too much to ask, Apple?
7. No-crease clothes
If there’s one chore I hate it is ironing. Which is why I admired a 10-year-old girl who recently admitted to loving the task. I know there are ‘non-ironing’ shirts for men, and probably the equivalent for women. But from experience they are more like ‘easy-iron’. I want ‘absolutely-non-ironing’ stuff. Meanwhile, perhaps I will have to try out ‘Effie‘.
8. Full VR gaming
As inventions go, this one doesn’t really offer much help in daily life, but boys will be boys! I have been waiting for VR since I first played Dungeon Master on my Amiga back in the late 1980’s. It has been long coming, with a couple of fits and starts, but now VR appears to be here to stay. I am not ashamed to admit that to play Resident Evil 7 on the PS4 VR I needed company because I was scared. But I want more and better! It still makes you dizzy and there is the issue of wires getting in the way. Something like the Assassin’s Creed Animus will do.
9. Self-sustaining plants
I am a living dichotomy: I dislike plastic plants but manage to kill even cactus. So I need science to bring me a plant that does not require any kind of attention and ideally thrives on being ignored. Ah yes! If possible, a flowering one please! I know it’s a tall order but hey, with genetic engineering, inventions like this should be possible, right?
10. Self-brushing loo
I know, toilets are not something decent bloggers normally write about. But let’s be honest. How many parents don’t wish for a self-brushing toilet that does away with the constant escatalogical reprimanding to their offspring and the embarrassment when a guest uses the bathroom right after their 6 year-old has passed through. Just saying…
Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this blog belong solely to the author. They do not, in any way, reflect the opinions of employers, associates and dependants, whether past or present.